Suzie's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] HeKeepsMeGoing [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

wow. [05 Jul 2008|01:39am] I haven't written in here in forever. I'm sure no one looks on these things anymore...which is sort of why I wanted to write in here. I'm having a hard time with the whole relationship thing. And I wanted to tell someone that. Even if it was no one. If that makes sense. Because everyone thinks it's good. I just miss other people I shouldn't. And this whole thing is very grey. And I wish it were black and white. Goodnight. ♥

much needed [10 Sep 2007|12:15pm] so today's chapel service was very needed for me. i'm so tired of people being afraid to offend people in church...we're not here to please people...we're here to please God. And i want to have his Spirit living and working in me if I have been called to minister for Him. ♥

My Last Year. [11 Aug 2007|10:40pm] [ music | Give me words to speak-Aaron Shust ] wow. My last year of Fine Arts. But I can't say that I would hope for anything more. I had an amazing week. It's so encouraging to go there and watch my youth group and how they're growing not only in God, but also in using their gifts, their talents for God's glory. It's an indescribable feeling being surrounded by so many who are a team with you in reaching the lost. I'm sure anywhere else people would think it's weird to see a guy preaching to a wall...a girl singing to herself, a group playing instruments in the hallway floor, people going crazy with emotion in a drama skit in the middle of all the action. But that is a beautiful thing to me. Not only that, but it is amazing to know that God is working through you and in you. I know that without God's help, I would never have made it as far as I did this year, and I give him ALL the credit. This year at nationals was different b/c we didn't do too much as far as "fun" events, but it's almost as if I enjoyed watching my youth group more than going and doing "stuff." And I spent it with my closest friends. I'm leaving for school this week, which seems crazy right? Well I'm excited, because as an awesome youth leader told me, when you're going where God leads you, He's going to do amazing things in your life and begin to show you so much. And I can't wait for that. I suppose that's all for tonight. I kinda liked writing in here tonight...it fealt sort of good. Good night. And God bless YOU. ♥

[24 Jul 2007|12:50am] so i have about two weeks left at home...that's crazy to me. And time seems to be really flying... i'm excited/nervous/sad...to leave my family and friends. this has been a pretty lame summer though...working and work and then come home and watch a movie by myself...and off to bed to wake up and do it all over again...but i haven't been working much lately. i'm perdy tired so i think i shall go to bed. goodnight. ;) ♥

geesh [27 May 2007|12:09am] [ mood | confused ] life has been...crazy. i'm forever done with high school. i'm screwing up things left and right. i miss a lot of people. i'm really itchy right now. i have a headache. i think i shall go to bed. Get rid of my phone for awhile? Quite the possibility. ♥

[27 Mar 2007|12:31pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | This Song. ] You break the glass, try to hide your face Recorded lines that just will not erase And buried in your loss of innocence You wonder if you'll find it again Was I there for the worst of all your pain? And was I there when your blue skies ran away? Was I there when the rains were flooding you off your feet? Those were My tears falling down for you, falling down for you I'm the One that you've been looking for I'm the One that you've been waiting for I've had My eyes on you ever since you were born I will love you after the rain falls down I will love you after the sun goes out I'll have My eyes on you after the world is no more Did I arrange the light of your first day? Did I create the rhythm your heart makes? Could you believe when your candle starts to fade? I want to be the One that you believe Could take it all away, take your heart away Isn't My life a clear sign since I have crossed over this chasm To fill the space between Me and you? And I will do it all over again Just look for Me, just wait for Me The One you've been looking for The One you've been waiting for You won't have to look anymore >>>>This is what he said to me. ♥

g's laweese [20 Feb 2007|10:29pm] okay i haven't written in here in awhile. i got my truck back today. i missed her. Fine arts is coming along well...God's working. i think that the devil is trying to stop us though...because this year has been rough. But the devil has no authority over us...and for that I praise God. which only means God is going to use us in UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING ways! and for that i'm excited. -first having to have practice only once a month -parent issues -jon's broken leg (twice) -David's broken arm -Dan's sick -busting the hole in the wall -not to mention all the set backs. But God is in control and he is my/our protector. I got my wisdom teeth out...still a little puffy but no complaints. However, this blatter infection is by far the worst pain i've EVER had. Anywho...keep this all in your prayers. And Andy too. life is busy. life is good. life is love. meghan. ♥

[21 Jan 2007|12:40am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | falling up ] It's so crazy. i miss people...and it feels like the world is slipping away. and i can't grab hold of anyone...i don't know how. but it hurts to see them like this. i need God to show me how to reach them...before it's too late. on a happier note...he's pretty awesome. i can see a future chance here. he opens doors for me, brings me flowers to work or chocolate. He picks me up and calls to read me a verse to brighten my day. And we read eachother "Bible stories" at night. I'm not saying he's the only guy to treat me good. But it's a Godly kind of good. i like it. but i'm not getting ahead of myself here...cause we both know it's just not God's timing for now. So who knows about later??? Still no truck? But $11,000 worth of damage. I'm def. gonna have to trust God on this one. + 1 //♥

[04 Jan 2007|09:45pm] [ mood | accomplished ] I'm done with closure. it feels amazing. I feel...free. too much wasted time...but i ain't looking back. ♥

[03 Jan 2007|09:28pm] [ mood | tired ] so a lot is new... i got accepted to Valley Forge and I'm busy sending in all my room arrangements and stuff. It's really quite exciting. :) I had an amazing Christmas and New Years...it was great... and i love having Andy home. It's really nice. Megan and I are going to be burning all of our "boy" stuff tonight. For that, I am a little nervous...and sad...but i know i just gotta do it. Kinda like ripping off a band-aid. I'm actually really nervous/scared. But let's pretend neither of us know that?. ok. good. o and i got my nose pierced. but you prolly already knew that. and school is back. :( but my last half! :) peace out dogs! p.s. And even though the moment passed me by I still can't turn away 'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose Got tossed along the way I think about you all the time But I don't need the same. ♥

just the song for you. [05 Dec 2006|07:30pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Third Day ] "I've got my doubts and I've got my questions It's nothing new 'cause I've seen them before I've had my share of false revelations It always seems they're knockin' on my door You said that I should see the light But sometimes faith is blind How do you know, how do you know What I'm suppose to be doing Why do you go, why do you go on Thinking you know my fate So many times I've lost my step But never lost my way How do you know, how do you know When I don't know myself You're thinking that you've got all the answers You've got my situation figured out But you're only seeing part of the picture There's so much more that you don't know about And here you come to speak your mind But I'll say one more time How do you know?" -yea...i'll say. we're just friends. and YOU...make me angry. don't go talkin like you own my life, those decisions are for God and God alone. + 1 //♥

A boyfriend? To stay or Go that is the question [26 Nov 2006|03:12am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | mom and G ma talking ] i'm so frustrated right now. i'm trying. and you're messing with my head. Knock it off! Just let God guide me...not you and your stinkin comments. Thanks. i'm still teetor totter-ing this decision. But pray that God gives me wisdom to do what's right and courage to make the right choice. ♥

[18 Nov 2006|03:48pm] [ music | Goo Goo Dolls ] I always feel like we're playing some game. Trying to show the other one up. Whatev. He said to me... "There's so much more about you that you never let them see You turn away But not to me And I know how they tried to take you Held you up and meant to break you down But you can't be For so long I tried to reach you I know I'm almost there I'm close enough for you to see" And i replied... "The end of fear is where we begin." P.s. i had the bestest birthday EVER! My friends are way sweeter than yours! ♥

closure's door. [14 Nov 2006|08:21pm] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | Toby Mac ] A missed call... He called. I talked. Just go away. That's what i wish i could say sometimes. You're knocking on closure's door, but i can't let you in. No matter how hard you pound on the door, or how loud you yell, i just can't. I'm sorry. The fact that you're going to Iraq before August and fighting on the front lines is really scary to me, so i promise to pray for you, but i CANNOT open this door. One question for you: Why, when i'm doing so good with my progress and right where i need to be do you have to come back and hand me insecurity? That's what messes me up the most, it makes me feel lonely and i hate it. It doesn't make me miss you or wish i was still with you. Just feel lonely. That's not fair. I'm happy to say that i don't need anyone besides God to tell me I can do it or i'll be okay. Cause I really am great. Kyle McCormick, i shut the door months ago so please just knock on some body else's. Thank you and Good Day. + 1 //♥

yesterday....uh oh! (I can do this) [13 Nov 2006|10:33pm] you would not even believe what happened to myself. i said, "self, are you kidding me?" crazy stuff. and i says to myself, "that is CRAZY!" glad i could get that out. ♥

[11 Nov 2006|02:54am] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | lobby music...hehe ] i'm just sitting here at the hotel in PA right now. i've pretty much had a great time. This trip made me open my eyes to so much more. It was the "serious" side instead of always just seeing the "fun" part of things. i also got two books on my way down here: "Going out without freaking out" and "For Young Women Only" Wow...it makes me feel bad for how i've treated guys...and it really talks about how they think and i think it's a good book for me. i like it. And i'm doing good in that area. that's all for now... peace out. + 2 //♥

[30 Oct 2006|08:17pm] You do this to me EVERY time. and that's mostly why i hate it. ♥

[26 Oct 2006|06:41pm] [ mood | worn out. ] Life is so crazy right now. i'm so busy, that at times i feel like i have to stop to breathe. i got another job so i'll be working two. and my parents and i sat down to schedule everything out and it appears the only free time i have is on Saturday mornings. :-( it's weird. only thing is i can't afford to not work as much as i will be. that's sorta sad, but i guess it's my own fault. i'm so tired out. Of competing still. Honestly flat out, i'm out of the runnings, cause i don't try. i don't want to. i was sick of that a long time ago, with somebody else. i miss my brother a lot. and he can't come home for Christmas.:-( and maybe not even for my graduation. the "boy" situation is partly a mess partly better. (better=closure)(mess=well, ya...) i miss you all... i really do. Janet, Jordan, meg, jess, david, ethan, pastor richard and the fam and Chris x 2 of em(B and M)-(In the friend kinda way)ANDY, and it could continue. love you all. ♥

[15 Oct 2006|04:27pm] Mr. Robertson wrote the nicest thing about me in my NHS application....it made me want to cry. VFCC in less than a month...and 18!!!!!!! AHHHHHH! ♥

[06 Oct 2006|03:28pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Hawk Nelson ] craziest week EVER!!! homecoming tomorrow....still not sure if we're going??? this situation is no good. no sir. and i don't have three thousand dollars. but i do love my life right now despite it all... going to the game tonight...call Kari's cell if you want to chat. or come hang with me and the ladies. megan kubbie......where are you homie??? I FLIPPIN MISS YOU!!! ♥

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